Russ Gibb at Random

A History Lesson

June 7, 2002

1840: William Henry Harrison (died in office)1860: Abraham Lincoln (assassinated)1880: James A. Garfield (assassinated)1900: William McKinley (assassinated)1920: Warren G. Harding (died in office)1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (died in office)1960: John F. Kennedy (assassinated)1980: Ronald Reagan (survived assassination attempt)2000: George W. Bush ????????????And to think that we had two guys fighting it out in the courts to bethe one elected in 2000.**********************************************You might also be interested in this.Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946 .Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot inthehead.Now it gets really weird.Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.Both were assassinated by Southerners.Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.Both assassins were known by their three names.Both names are composed of fifteen letters.Now hang on to your seat.Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'.Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.And here's the kicker .......A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.


Four Stars * * * *

May 12, 2002

Congratulations to Mayor Guido and his city workers who have refurbished City Hall. It looks great. Excellent Job. Now, if only the Major and his team would start enforcing our city signage ordinances, maybe East Dearborn wouldn't look like an extension of Detroit- sorry, but its true!


Dear Russ

April 21, 2002

A reader writes...Thank God! for Russ Gibb........... It's about time someone had the guts to publish something like your web site & "tell it like it is." Many people are fed up w/ Mikey's chauffer, silk suits, and all the rest of the BS he's handing out! Snipers on the rooftops, of all the nerve! (Memorial Day parade) He is a real schmoozer!!!! When will people see him for what he really's quite clear he was re-elected only because 21K people in our fair city did not want an "Arab" for a mayor......where the heck are the voters brains??? Mikey thinks he is the President of the UnUnited City of Dearborn.....including his West Wing......what a laugh!!!!.......But people would rather have a guy like Mikey, than an Arab......what a sick world we live in! Keep up your good work!!! We love you!!!

- W.F.


Mikey, Can You Hear Me?

March 10, 2002

What do you do when you really like a person, yet you want to tell them that maybe they have gotten arrogant, and that many people are talking about them behind their back. You know the story- "The Emperor Has No Clothes"

Well, I like Mayor Michael Guido a great deal. He is a bright and charming guy. His humor is legendary. Yet, recently he seems to be "full of himself;" forgetting his roots and his humility. I guess success and power and a bodyguard "chauffer" would do that to most of us. It sure as hell would do it to me.

So, Mr. Mayor, might I respectfully request a little less pomp and ceremonies, and more staying at your city hall desk and working less for the photo ops and more for the citizens who gave you your job. With honesty, Russ Gibb. Softly jumping up and down.


A Grim Fantasy Tale

March 5, 2002

A reader writes: Once upon a time...

It's early in the morning. Very Early. Still dark out. A vast majority of sane people are snuggled in their beds. But not the diehard group of folks who religiously wake from their pre-dawn slumber to lumber to a private fitness facility in the City Far, Far Away. They're paying their dues-why not utilize the cardiovascular equipment and classes to get that heart pumping first thing in the a.m.?

I must digress. MOST members are paying their dues except for Mayor SpendaLot, his First Lady DrivenAroundaLot, and other select overpaid city employees feeding at the public trough AND receiving honorary memberships at the private clubs in Far Far Away Land. Apparently, double-dipping isn't just for ice cream cones.

A paying member of the club pulls into the dimly-lit parking lot. (Although public officials receive honorary dues-free memberships, this is a PRIVATE club, so the city has no obligation to provide lighting). She spies a parking space in the "members only" lot. She also spies a big surly-looking white man in a limousine Town Car parked directly beneath the only light in that area of the parking lot. His hamhock hands hold an open newspaper over the luxury leather-trimmed steering wheel. The interior light of the Town Car is turned on. The woman looks at him. He glares at her and raises the newspaper higher. The woman is not comfortable. What is he doing there? Is he stalking the private club parking lot? Why doesn't he get out of his Town Car and go inside the club? She circles again and jots down the license plate number.

After parking on the other side of the lot (rather inconvenient), she finally gets up the nerve to walk into the club and explains the situation to one of the employees.

Whilst inside the fitness center, she greets several other early birds, including First Lady DrivenAroundaLot. She expresses her concern about the strange man in the parking lot who appears to be waiting to pick off an unsuspecting victim.

After the workout, she talks to the employee, who assures her there is nothing to worry about.

The driver of the Town Car is Mayor SpendaLot's "personal" bodyguard-a member of the Far Far Away City Police Department. How peculiar! A "personal" employee of Mayor SpendaLot, whose city-issued paycheck is derived from anything but the Mayor's "personal" funds. Alas, the "personal" bodyguard of the mayor--who is not required to live in Far Far Away Land but can draw his paycheck from the city--is financially compensated by the largely-unaware common folk of Far Far Away Land to the tune of approximately $80,000 per year to protect the great Mayor and his Lady from bodily harm. Perhaps city taxpayers should also pay for him to exercise in the private club, so that at the very least, he will be legally parked in the "members only" section the next time the First Lady needs a driver to drop her off and wait for her to get done exercising. But hey, He is a great and powerful mayor and she a beautiful and fit wife, And they live well and have a great and good life in the Far Far Away City. And what the poor taxpayers of Far Far Away city never, never know won't hurt them.

The moral of this story- get it while you can.


Mayor Guido, Please Save Us

February 25, 2002

Mayor Guido has been working hard and trying to prove to we taxpayers that he is on top of the homeland security thingy. In fact, $250,000 bucks have been allocated from this year's budget for our city's "homeland" security.

Now, add this to the fact that our mayor has just been appointed to chair the Homeland Security Committee for the National Council of Mayors, and bingo, light bulb, etc. Could our good Mayor Guido have an eye for a big job in Washington DC? After all, he is an "expert" on homeland security, and remember money talks and BS walks in Washington DC- and $250,000 bucks talks loud and clear.


About the Democrat's New Website...

February 23, 2002

A reader writes: "Yes, it's time to make English the offical language. If you want to live here, speak English. I'm sick of the extra cost of supporting everyone elses "HOME" language. This is home now and english is the language. If they don't want to learn english, they can go back to where they came from and speak their home language all they want."

- C.G.


Drive On O'Leary

February 16, 2002

"The Body Guard" was a big box office hit for Whitney Houston but it doesn't play so well in Dearborn. We're told that Dearborn is a safe place to live yet our mayor has a highly paid, highly trained police officer acting as a chauffer, delivery boy, fill-in receptionist, banker and general nursemaid. The job apparently isn't all work. According to the mayor's campaign finance reports Officer Mike O'Leary got a few free lunches and was reimbursed from campaign funds when he picked up the tab.

When questioned at a December City Council meeting, the mayor claimed Officer O'Leary is not his body guard but assigned to provide security at the City Hall complex. However, some people claim that O'Leary has been performing a number of unrelated duties and keeps a city vehicle parked outside his home.

So bar your windows, keep your doors locked and never leave home without a 6-foot tall police officer. It also helps if you have $150,000 a year to pay the bill.

- Susan Moore


What About Europe?

February 16, 2002

Did you read that some of the European liberal elites are angry at the USA and President Bush for his war on terrorism. Screw em! Just wait until the crazies blow up the Eiffel Tower and Big Ben. Then let's see how they feel.


An Honest Man ----- NOW

February 16, 2002

See where Democratic Representative John Dingell has returned his $9,000 donation that he received from the Enron Corporation. Gee...only in Washington can you have it "both" ways.

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